Aunt Sally is coming next Monday… and she is going to stay for a week, my mum said. “Janet is coming with her”. “Who’s Janet?”, I yawned. “Your cousin. She is sixteen. Now, prepare the room for her. She’s going to sleep in your room and you are going to sleep with Maciek”. I wasn’t very happy. Maciek is my twelve-year old brother. I think you understand living with such a kid is a real nuissance. But I spend a lot of time with my friends; it seems I only sleep at home. So perhaps this won’t be so difficult, I thought. “Now”, my mum continued. “I’m taking a week off and we’re going to Poznań for a few days”. Oh, great! I thought, but my mum had not finished yet. “So you will be staying with Janet and Maciek”. “Why aren’t you taking Janet to Poznań?”, I asked. “Well, we simply want to spend some time with your aunt. She’s my sister, after all. And you can spend some time with Janet. You’re on holiday, after all, aren’t you?”

The week was a real disaster and actually I don’t think they will come any more. First of all, Janet was allergic. She slept in my room and coughed all the time. Only then she told me she is allergic to dust, flowers and down. Well, my room is full of old books covered with dust, I’ve got a great collection of orchids and of course my bed clothes are filled with down.

After a few days she asked me if she ­could sleep on the sofa in the living room and it was better. Now, when I first saw Janet, I was shocked. She is fat! But not just plump or something: she looks like a hippo. I don’t know why but I always make gaffes. So it wasn’t very kind of me to tell her, when she said she had forgotten her pyjamas, that she can take mine! I am size 34 – so she looked at me, thinking it’s some kind of joke, and then I was sinking even more deeply. “Don’t exaggerate, you are not so fat”. I think I wanted to comfort her but it was really weird as she weighs 120 kilos! I thought she would cry. Well, I knew I had to organize some time for her, but I also wanted to spend time with friends. I must admit I wasn’t really in hurry to return from my dates and meetings. And she was alone with Maciek, who isn’t a very sociable person.

Once I had a party, my friend’s birthday party, and I decided to take Janet with me and it appeared my friends didn’t behave as they should. They looked at her in astonishment and my friend Paula said: “I’ve heard everybody is so fat in the USA, is that true”. And Janet said: “Well, not really, I’m the fattest”. And she laughed! But then she left the party. I should have gone with her but I really liked the party, only Janet spoilt it. Now, she wanted to go to the National Gallery, so we went there together, but I simply hate galleries and museums, so she bought a ticket and i said I would wait for her. It took her too hours! I was furious, you can imagine that. When my mother and aunt returned, she told them she spent a great time with me, but of course she lied… And I felt even worse… Well, it seems I can’t do it, but I promised myself next time it will be better. If she comes next time…

Improve your vocabulary!

disaster – katastrofa
exaggerate – wyolbrzymiać, przesadzać
cough – kaszleć
plump – pulchny
sociable – towarzyski