Monday
I’m going to tell my parents today, when they come back from Crete. These two weeks have been the best in my life. Jasmine, this blog is for you, I want to express my feelings openly. Yes, I’m in love!!! You are my pearl, my treasure, my destiny, my dearest dolphin, my everything and this blog is a present for your birthday. When you are far away, you will make a click and I’ll be here, everyday. You are my motivation and when I think about our plans, I believe they are possible, I really believe I can do it. Now, my parents are difficult. My father is a grey-haired gentleman, a fresh shirt every day with a matching tie, my mother never swears, only her lips get thinner and white when she gets really angry. If only I graduate from the right faculty. And this isn’t a problem. I’ve always been a good student. Good marks. Homeworks on time. I’m not afraid of exams. I am a bright guy. Bright enough to study medicine? I hope so.
Tuesday
No, I don’t think today is the best moment to tell them. When I saw them, my spirit sank and my stomach felt like stone. I’m a coward, yes, I admit that. But I haven’t seen them for two months. Usually I am used to my father’s patronizing tone of voice, but after two months of freedom this is hard. And my mother – the queen of silence. I’m sure I can expect no defense. Perhaps I will tell them tomorrow. If I dare, Jasmine would be more courageous. She is very brave. I met her at a manifestation but we had different roles. She was protesting against closing some hospital – I was watching. A passer-by in silent support. She looks Chinese but she is a mixture: Polish mother, Chinese father. Takes after him. Now, I know they might not like it either. My parents.
Wednesday
I still haven’t, but at least I am frank. Now Jasmine is already in France we must be sincere and loyal. No cheating. Is distant love possible? We’re exchanging e-mails, but I feel this blog helps me even more, in a different way. When you tell people something, it becomes a shared secret. All shared promises weigh more. Now, at the manifestation I noticed Jasmine with a transparent. Then I simply bumped into her in a café. May was cold and I simply had to have a cup of coffee. She was there, with her friends. It was difficult but I decided – now or never – and asked her what she thought about the manifestation, etcetera, and this is how it started.
Thursday
Not yet. I guess I should tell them before the school year starts. I guess my father will call some private history teachers to make them give me lessons the first of September. History is crucial, he says. So he must know. I started to learn biology in secret. That’s very stupid to do it in August, but this is the way Jasmine does it. I am sure she will be the best student in France and I am really proud. A grant on the second year! I learn biology also because I can’t concentrate on anything else. I can’t look for pleasures as I feel I still haven’t done what I had promised, so it seems studying is tough enough to pay for my sins.
Friday
My mum looks depressed today. Perhaps because she looks fat. Women are often depressed when they put on weight. It’s not strange, really, when you eat mussaka and this greek fat cake or desert! So it’s not the best moment. I love my mum but it seems Jasmine is completely different. She is so vivid, full of life! She knows exactly what she wants and she will have it! Complete medical studies and help the poor Africa. Vaccinations, malaria. Flu and difficult labours. Appendicitis and wounds. A doctor is always needed. This is her life plan. And there is a place for me in it, provided I’m a doctor, too. I will lend you my notes from lectures, she says. You are bright, she says. I know. But do I want to be a doctor? Well, do I want to be a lawyer? I feel hollow, deprived of any desires. Apart from the desire to be with her, with Jasmine. I still feel her presence in the house even if she had carefully taken all her things. I’m happy it was not my mum who found an earring on the armchair.
Saturday
I couldn’t because my father was not there when I woke up. My mum looks like keeping a secret. But it’s me who’s got a secret! I don’t know what is going on in this family! I have never been really interested in anything, can I get interested in medicine? Why not? The law is so boring that everything sounds better. I decided to watch all the TV series about hospitals and doctors. Mum was surprised – I never watch TV! Well, the job looks interesting. Even these hospitals in Poland do not look so bad. I guess even if it is a film, it should be close to reality, shouldn’t it? Tomorrow is the last day, school starts on Monday.
Sunday
Today, it must be today, I’m only waiting for the right moment.
Monday
I couldn’t write yesterday – I was shocked. So imagine the scene like from a Greek tragedy. Dinner. 7 p.m. I’m going downstairs, they’re waiting for me. I enter the dining room and say: “Before we start, I’d like to tell you something”. Uff. It was hard. I know I’m red on my face but I sigh with relief. But – no! My father holding my mother’s hand says: “No, son, we want to tell you something” – yes, he wins again! What are they going to tell me? They decided to start a rabbit farm? So I’m waiting, they have taught me to be polite. “You are going to have a brother or sister, Michael”, says my mom with sweet tone of voice. “In fact”, this is my dad, “you are going to have two brothers or two sisters. Or a brother and a sister”. Silence. “What?” I am shocked. My father brings champagne. After weird congratulations (Are they crazy – this is what I think if I really am to be frank), my father asks: “So what was what you wanted to tell us?” And there is the usual laughter. “A girlfriend, ehm? Can we invite her for lunch?” Proud of himself, now the father of three, he pours more champagne to his glass. I am brave. And I start to explain.
Tuesday
Yes, it’s over. My father told me he knows a few doctors. They can help if I need it. My mother is so concentrated on choosing the right pram that she only gave me a kiss. I haven’t told them about Africa yet, but I was afraid I would have a heart attack. Perhaps I will tell them just after the babies are born, they won’t pay too much attention then. I hope they will be two boys, two lawyers for my dad. Jasmine called and she is proud of me! She said she thought I would wait for months. I will have to work hard to change her image of me. I miss her so much that I can only study the intestines of frogs – can’t concentrate on anything.
Improve your vocabulary!
bright – bystry
defense – obrona
sincere – szczery
loyal – lojalny
crucial – istotny hollow – pusty
deprive – pozbawić
appendicitis – zapalenie wyrostka
pram – wózek dziecięcy
intestines – trzewia
weird – dziwny