If your parents are not divorced and they live happily together, you are lucky. Unfortunately, many couples get divorced. A divorce may destroy your whole life. Read the sad story of Magda and her mum.
When my parents divorced, I was only five years old. Actually I don’t remember my dad.
He never called or sent me a birthday card. I know that before the divorce we used to spend a lot of time together. I saw pictures from holidays and my dad seemed quite happy. Now I know that he was pretending (pretend – udawać). I didn’t miss him because I didn’t know him but there were situations when I felt uncomfortable…
When I was eight, I hit a schoolmate and our teacher told me to come with my mum the next day. My mum was away and I said she couldn’t come so the teacher told me to come with my dad. I don’t know where the idea of writing him a letter came from…
Another time, I was about 14, we had to fill a form for a school psychologist. It was supposed to help us in choosing a proper profession. Simple questions: father’s name, father’s occupation (zawód ojca)… It was the first time I asked my mum questions. She was surprised because she had never thought I would have asked her. She told me he left us to pursue a career. (Powiedziała mi, że zostawił nas, by robić karierę.) I haven’t understood yet how it is possible that a career may be more important than your own child…
Teresa, Magda’s mother
When you get married and have children, you don’t plan to divorce. I knew it would hurt my daughter but even now I believe it was the right decision. Me and Magda’s dad had been married for six years when we decided to split. We were fighting all the time and any reason was good. Magda can’t remember but she was always terrified in such situations. Finally, we decided that a divorce would be the best solution for us all. I didn’t know he would forget about his daughter so easily…
Remember! Every situation has good and bad sides. Even a divorce!
Advantages and disadvantages of your parents’ divorce
Bad sides of your parents’ divorce:
- You think that one of your parents is a good parent and the other one is bad.
- You may think you lost your family.
- Your parents hate each other and you can’t change it.
- When you’re with one of them, you have to listen to the horrible stories about the other one.
- You may feel guilty for their divorce.
Good sides of your parents’ divorce:
- Your parents may fight at the beginning but after some time they may start working on their friendship.
- If only you understand their problems, you will see that living separately is much better than living with somebody you fight with all the time.
- Your parents may start their life again and be happier. If you accept that, you will be happy, too.